Child-exploiter, product placement shill and recent divorcee Kate Gosselin is now immortalized via wig. Really hurting for a Halloween costume idea? How about going as Jon?

I have enough Ed Hardy gear, now all i need is a 20 year old coke shoveling co-ed. Leave your number in the comments ladies.

The purposefully ambiguous product description all but ensures that Kate “Husband Stitch” Gosselin (can you say hotdog down a hallway?) doesn’t get her money grubbing paws on any of the proceeds.

“So sleek and so stylish, this blond retro wig will make people think you have eight children and are married to a newspaper columnist (WTF??). Features a blond 80′s-inspired wig that’s smooth and face-framing in the front with a short and puffy back that’s full of volume.

For eight is enough to fill our lives my sad, lonely, pathetic existence with love!”

I got my Google Voice number a few days ago and man have I been having a BLAST with it!

With Google Voice, you get all your calls through a single number. You can access and make calls from the phone and the Web, block annoying callers at will, and record custom greetings for different callers or groups of callers.

You get all your voicemails in one place (transcribed and freaking texted/emailed to you auto-FREAKING-matically… how cool is that!?), saved for as long as you want. If you don’t answer a call to your Google number, your callers will be sent to your Google voicemail. You can check messages by calling your Google number, by signing in to Google Voice, or by opting in to receive notifications.

You’ll also get more handy features that work across all your phones:

* ListenIn as callers leave you a message
* Record calls on the fly so you never have to fumble for a pen again
* Switch phones mid-call without your caller knowing.

The list goes on, but seriously the best part is the ability to screen your calls and listen in to the voicemail. So if you are in my contacts list, when I pick up the phone, we are automatically connected and we speak, but if I block you or you are an unknown caller, The Google Voice Lady gives me the option of answering the call, sending to voicemail, OR sending to voicemail and listening in on it… muahah haha ha.

The next best thing is that you can just pop in at anytime and scare the CRAP out of the person as they are leaving the message. So I have been having a field day with telemarketers and various marketing folks… If you don’t have a google voice number yet, there is no reason not to.

Sign it on up folks!

Engadget does a much more thorough review here.

So I left my iPhone 3G in Vegas. Dignity, hygiene, girlfriend… all replaceable. iPhone, due to AT&T’s iron clad early termination fee, not so much. Thankfully because I was previously on a family share plan with a buddy I could still qualify as a NEW AT&T customer (Suck that you monopolistic, corporate d-bags).

So deciding to really stick it to the man, I decided to opt for the $50 upgrade and get the White (pure class) 16GB 3GS. The ‘S’ is for speed btw and it signifies the upgraded hardware. Did it blow me (ha), a 3G user for the past 9 months, away. Short answer: Kinda, Sorta, Maybe, Meh.

So the standalone compass is campy, and probably useless in 99% of everyday users’ everyday lives. Where it does shine however it in the Maps application, whereby the map rotates as you move and look around. This is key, and pricess, and finally makes the iPhone a viable GPS alternative. Previously, the 3G was a capable GPS device, but if you were being honest with yourself, you were really forcing it.

There is now a focus feature on the Camera App, and also you can take Video. The coolest part about the video is a little on screen editor (yes, just like you saw in the commercial). Also upon sending it in an email it will compress the video. Very smart thinking and handy. What absolutely SUCKS about this is still NO MMS? This however is AT&T’s fault.

I really really really hate AT&T (Wireless). I think they are a soul-less, non-progressive company that someone should buy and dismantle, and change a third world lemonade-stand chain. Their coverage in New York is unbearable and their commercials sometimes make me nauseous. To be fair, out on the West Coast their coverage has been the bomb-diggity and AT&T U-verse (Verizon FiOS Competitor) is Totally Sweet and Amazing, and we will be doing a comparison review of the two in the coming weeks.

As cool as the 3GS is, the real news here is the new 3.0 Operating System. Which lets you do Copy and Paste and Horizontal Keyboard. Finally. I mean this is baby shit Apple. The jailbreakers did it months ago. It’s about time.

Bottom Line. for new customers the 3GS is worth it. For customers with early upgrade option (you probably still have first gen) yes- still a no-brainer. For current 3G customers however: you aren’t missing out on much, I would pocket the cash and stand-by for the next hardware rollout (rumored to be in 12 months).

Can you imagine an iPhone with the iPod Touch form factor… it could be coming….

Before you know it, you’ll have one of these bastards chasing you down the street…damn you Japan!

I once had an argument with friends over what would be more terrifying: The zombie apocalypse or the robot apocalypse. I argued that the robotics industry is nowhere near making robots as menacing as the ones in the Terminator movies and we are basically at the Johnny 5 (The robot from Short Circuit for you popular folk)level of robotics minus the intelligence. I went on and on about how biochemical engineers are making some crazy discoveries in the field of re-activating dead brain tissue etc.

My friends insisted I was wrong about my fascination with zombies and that robots were the real threat. They had me watch Ghost in the shell and some other anime involving cyborg women with enormous naughty pillows. After I ran out of Jergens I began searching the web for breakthroughs in robotics. This is the first of many twisted creations the Japanese are cooking up. Cue Terminator music and a bowel movement.

Check out the article here:

If I saw this thing running down my block with bright red eyes and a toyota sticker on its back, I believe a few nuggets would roll down my pant legs before I got the sense to start screaming like a girl and running like I was being chased with my pants around my ankles by a plumber turned NYPD police officer. Does Toyota really want to be a real life “skynet”? because, if so, COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

That goes for the women, and if all the woman are wiped out, I’ll take Robert Pattinson. In the next installment of my search for the truth I will explore a new technology involving machines eating organic material i.e.

Flies. WTF?! It’s ok I just farted too.

I went to a Catholic High School mostly because “all my friends were going”, and because I got to wear a pretty cute uniform skirt which I’d hike up every chance I got ; An act that very often landed me in detention.

While I didn’t really pay too much attention in Religion class, I did come away with a few things. Some rules Catholicism likes to call The 10 Commandments. Numero Uno on His list is not worshiping any other gods. Yours truly went through a Wiccan stage in High School but I’m pretty certain that any of the Gods/Goddesses I was worshiping at the time were way fucking cooler than Shia LaBeouf, so forgive me if this collection of artwork from crazed fans is a wee bit disturbing.  As a culture we tend to take our celebrities and turn them into Gods. Now, fans are creating their own religions based on these celebs.

I recently found out there is a fictional religion in which LaBeouf is the Messiah, called The Church of Shiantology. Don’t believe me? Well feast your heathen eyes on the link below:

A letter from Shia to the Shiatonians

Are these girls/women wowed by his dynamite performance as the annoying little brother on Disney’s Even Stevens? His oscar worthy acting in Holes? Perhaps it was just his steamy 3 minute, not even any wang showing, make out scene in Disturbia? I just don’t get it.  By conventional standards, he isn’t even that good looking. He’s certainly not a Clooney (who gets my vote for most God like) or a DiCaprio, he’s barely a Haim or a Feldman in terms of talent! (Yes, both Corey’s are more fascinating to me than LaBeouf)

But wait..you know what?..Hang on, the more I think of it, the more these Shiantologists have a valid point! Let’s go to the showdown:

Jesus Vs Shia SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY! RACEEWAYYY PARK!

Jesus – performed miracles e.g. loaves & fishes, water into wine, healing the sick, sacrificed himself and remained celibate for the good of mankind.

Shia- saves the world from robots while banging Megan Fox and then bangs Rhianna before she gets her face all messed up by Chris Brown. So really, I’m pretty sure Shia wins this battle. K.O.!

I’m sold. Do you Shiantologists serve punch and cookies after the service?

This is a great little free app on the iPhone for Exercise and Diet monitoring. I’ve been using it for a week or so now, and keeping track of your daily calorie intake and calories burned through all manner of activities.

When you first run Lose It! It asks you to enter your current weight, your weight loss goal, and the amount of weight you would like to lose per week: 0.5, 1.0, 1.5, 2.0lbs. When this is done, it tells you the exact date that your weight loss goal will be achieved. That was nifty!

You will be spending the most time in this app adding food or activity. Let’s take a look at adding food items first.

One of the most convenient features of Lose It! is the built in database of brand name foodstuffs. For example, it has most North American restaurants (including fast food joints) pre-loaded in the app already. So if you slip up in your path to healthfulness, and Cross the Border for a Taco Bell double Baha beef Chalupa meal, Lose It! will be right there to let you know how much damage you did to your daily calorie budget.

The exercise/activity function is equally convenient. It has over a hundred common exercises ranging from Jogging to Sexual Activity. More, within each exercise, the app lets you specify the intensity of the activity. For example, if you select swimming, you can chose from about a dozen further refinements including Breaststroke, Freestlye- moderate, Freestyle- vigorous, or Leisurely (not laps) and then the amount of time you participated, giving you an approximate number of calories burned.

On both the food and exercise side of things you can add your own custom entries. Just last night, I ate at a non-chain restaurant where nutritional information was not available. So I simply put in the name of the Restaurant and made my best guess as to the amount of calories.

As you do these activities, the app lets you know your remaining calorie budget for the day in order to maintain the weight loss goal you originally set. Lose it! for the iPhone is a well thought-out and well executed app that operates smoothly but the real value in the app is that you are now consciously making more healthy decisions throughout the day. You’d love to be able to mark down Apple (35 calories) instead of that King Size Snickers Bar (537 calories) or maybe this is the little bit of extra motivation you need to have a leisurely after dinner walk for a half hour (-111 calories) than sit and watch TV (no calories).

See more screenshots and functionality that I didn’t cover at its website.

Now I am all for child exploitation (especially when the average cost of raising a child to the age of 18 is over $160,000).

But at some point it becomes a zero-sum game: like when, realizing after years of intense psycho-therapy that I am to blame for their warped self-image by dressing them up like mid to high class escorts between the ages of 2 weeks to 12, they end up surreptitiously slipping random household cleaners into my tea during visits to the crappy ass nursing home they stuck me in.

Thankfully, this surprisingly level-headed father ejected the bratty, spoiled twin in the only display of reasonable parenting in the whole hour-long show. He knows, like most men do, that their main responsibility as a father to a daughter is: KEEP ‘EM OFF THE POLE!

An explicitly constructed word salad is a tool for demonstrating the difference between random utterance and coherent expression of thought.