Toyota develops robots capable of running? Let the wetting of undies COMMENCE!


Before you know it, you’ll have one of these bastards chasing you down the street…damn you Japan!

I once had an argument with friends over what would be more terrifying: The zombie apocalypse or the robot apocalypse. I argued that the robotics industry is nowhere near making robots as menacing as the ones in the Terminator movies and we are basically at the Johnny 5 (The robot from Short Circuit for you popular folk)level of robotics minus the intelligence. I went on and on about how biochemical engineers are making some crazy discoveries in the field of re-activating dead brain tissue etc.

My friends insisted I was wrong about my fascination with zombies and that robots were the real threat. They had me watch Ghost in the shell and some other anime involving cyborg women with enormous naughty pillows. After I ran out of Jergens I began searching the web for breakthroughs in robotics. This is the first of many twisted creations the Japanese are cooking up. Cue Terminator music and a bowel movement.

Check out the article here:

If I saw this thing running down my block with bright red eyes and a toyota sticker on its back, I believe a few nuggets would roll down my pant legs before I got the sense to start screaming like a girl and running like I was being chased with my pants around my ankles by a plumber turned NYPD police officer. Does Toyota really want to be a real life “skynet”? because, if so, COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE.

That goes for the women, and if all the woman are wiped out, I’ll take Robert Pattinson. In the next installment of my search for the truth I will explore a new technology involving machines eating organic material i.e.

Flies. WTF?! It’s ok I just farted too.


2 Responses to Toyota develops robots capable of running? Let the wetting of undies COMMENCE!

  1. glorifiedg says:

    I will fight you for Edward Cullen..I mean,Rob Pattinson.

    LOVE the abner louima reference. Bad Cop #1’s mother was my HS art teacher.

  2. The Chef says:

    You make stream of consciousness writers blush you maniac. Nice post.

    Zombies FTW however.

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